One of the most famous books of all time is Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. Just for you – I’ve distilled it all the way down to just two words – let me know what you think…
Human Relations – How to get along with other people…by the way they’re everywhere!
As my kids get ready for their summer internships, I realized they would be going into a situation where they would be working with many new people. They will want to make the right impression and would like to have things go smoothly. I thought – how could I help them get the most from their experiences? The idea of getting along with other people, something I call Human Relations, is extremely important every day. You see, people are everywhere and if I could pick one skill that can have the most impact in your daily life (both business and personal) it would be to master Human Relations – the art and science of getting along with people.
What book could help my kids the most?
I went to my bookshelf to see what book could help my kids get along with people. I saw it right away and it’s a classic. A book with 1000’s of great reviews, millions of copies sold and printed 1936! A book based on a class that was taught for years before it was turned into the book – ensuring that the content was real world and really worked.
It’s the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. Not only did I have the book but I also had it on audio which means I could get through it faster than reading. I enjoy listening to audio books while I exercise or while driving in the car – both are excellent places to keep learning.
Then I distilled it down to 2 Words
I would highly recommend you read or listen to the book. I’m not sure if my kids have time to read it, so for them and for you let me sum up the whole 300 pages for you. It really can be distilled down into 2 words… HAPPY EMPATHY.
Happy means you are in a good mood. You smile a lot. You don’t criticize or complain. You appreciate others and offer sincere appreciation and gratitude for whatever they are doing or trying to do. Most friendly people are happy people. Happy people are lavish in their praise – not in fake flattery but in an authentic sincere way. You look for the slightest improvement or good thing to praise, offering an encouraging kind word.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. You don’t have to agree with the other person but you have to be able to feel what they feel – to walk in their shoes. You have a true interest in the other person – you care about them – you take the time to remember and use their name as you talk with them. You are a good listener – you encourage the other person to talk about themselves. The other person can feel your empathy – they feel important because someone is taking time with them. You are good at seeing things from their point of view and whatever that point of view is you don’t criticize it. You look for ways to relate to it.
You can begin using it right now…
You can begin using your new Happy Empathy skills right away because you will encounter people all day long. Start by smiling a little more. Look for small things to sincerely praise and compliment them. Next, have a natural curiosity and true interest in them. Everyone has something to share with you. At the end of our lives, people care most about the relationships they have – not all the things you have. Connecting with people using happy empathy will allow you to win friends and influence people!
Now take control and make it a great day,
Blaine Oelkers is a lifetime entrepreneur, a graduate of Purdue University and Stanford University’s Entrepreneurship program. He’s achieved over 100 Million dollars in sales and coached 1000’s of people. He’s currently President of the Arizona Marketing Association and Selfluence. He helps business owners with their Personal Implementation Plans (PIPs) elevating themselves to a higher level called You 2.0. He can be reached at Blaine@ForcedClarity.com